So in my last post, I talked about being lonely. I tried to make it not about my life, but it was, largely, about my personal experiences. And if you saw me, you would NEVER imagine I struggle with loneliness. You wouldn’t imagine this because I am good looking, I have a good job, friends, a beautiful and intelligent wife and more. I look like someone who people would want to be like. I say this because you might be an attractive person who is lonely.
When you live with and have accepted loneliness as l have, you fail to understand the gravity of this terrible disease.
For me, loneliness resulted in an addiction to movies/ television and a love/hate relationship with pornography. For you, it might be eating too many sugar-filled ‘foods’. Or cutting yourself. Any form of compulsive escapism could be a sign of loneliness. So ask yourself: how often are you PHYSICALLY with other people having fun?
(It even makes me wonder if crazy people were simply so lonely that they turned on themselves to try to comprehend what they saw as incomprehensible… )
Being lonely will also result in not being productive. Case in point: on the 2nd of this month, I was lonely, and I stayed home. I did nothing but watch tv, play games and, sadly, look at porn. It is a day I regret.
On Thursday, I went out for lunch at a restaurant where they know me well (I am an EFL teacher so my schedule is erratic). When I returned home, I did the dishes, the laundry, and organized the new apartment.
Even last night, I needed to be with friends, so I went out and met some guys for dinner. This morning, I have organized more, cleaned the bathroom and have great expectations for the afternoon and evening!
Overall, by being social, I have increased my productivity. (If I remember correctly, this is why France has more productivity with only a 30-hour work week. The people of France enjoy their lunches more and therefore are better able to work harder. But I currently lack any proof of this.)
By being social, we are also able to improve our self image. I can talk with people and know that they accept who I am. In discussing life with people, you begin to understand how your thoughts do or don’t fit in with how everyone else thinks. When you have friends who accept you as you are, you stop thinking about those trivial matters which cause you to see yourself negatively.
Maybe you think too much of yourself and, by talking with others, you realize how smart other people can be (so much so that you understand that, while you are smart, you are not really so much smarter than everyone else)!
So I will end this blog entry the same way I did last time. What will you do to end your loneliness? Will you go to a coffeehouse and meet someone? Will you go to a park and introduce yourself to someone?
Maybe find a church worthy of your time and make friends there.
Oh, and I encourage you to talk man-to-man or woman-to-woman just to prevent anyone from getting the wrong ideas.
And if you are a Christian and your church doesn’t seem to be welcoming, what will you do? Will you strive to change and improve your church culture so newcomers are welcomed and included? I hope so because the church is meant to be a beacon of light to a lost and dying world. Jesus wanted us to not condemn the world (or each other) for the mistakes we make- but to accept each other and help one another to be more like Jesus.